Deus venia est satis

2007-05-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

We are free, free from sin. Free from the things that binds us down. How true is it?

We claim we love God, yes in our lips and in our mouths every saturday in my ZJ Community we sing hymns and praises and love songs to him, yet our hearts... do they really belong to him?

I question this myself, I sing songs of love to God, yet I grumble when all he asks is just a little quiet time with him. Isn't that strange, it resembles couples on earth. In most of the relationships, everyone seems just to dig something out of it for themselves, but non or few wishes to give away as much as they dig. Similiarly, I want the good things and the blessings from god, yet I myself do not wish to give him or others the good things myself

When God asks me to perform a service for him in the middle of my exams, I say, "Lord my papers are more important!!!" When I am in the middle of something interesting, and God asked me to pray, I say, "God, later la!!! Can't You wait?". When i want to sleep le, God asked me to pray for someone, I tell him "Another time la!! Now need to sleep cannot pray..." I just went into confession, days laters I'm back into the confession box... God wants me to lead his people into worship, I say the same words that many other prophets used earlier,"Lord I C.M.I(cannot make it)" even though he kept reminding me, "Son, my grace is enough for you..."

Ordinarily if God were your friend or maybe someone close to you, he will probably be pissed off at you, do that to your girlfriend or spouse, be prepared to walk down the road to perdition

However, him despite knowing how much of a slut I am to worldly attractions and to earthly concerns, he is ever patient, knowing that I have more to learn from, even if I still continue to be a slut of this world. The wonderful thing is he loves me, and most of all he understands me.

Despite all the shit that I've done to him, the wonder of it is, he still loves me. He did not take away his blessings on me when I sin, rather, he grace them more abundantly on me to fight against sin. He was not angry with me, rather he love me even more when I fell, like the Shepherd who left the 99 to search for the lost one, he is that king of mine who cares for me and constantly woo my heart back to him. Many people failed me and I've failed them, but he is the only one who has never failed me thus far, he allows trouble to come for me to learn, pains that I can grow and be stronger, joy for me to carry on my walk through life, and many other countless blessings.

Truely How Great is our God

I am writing this to encourage many of my brothers and sisters in the faith to walk on and persevere, god's blessings are abundant, his love is even more abundant. Turn away from the seductions and false promises of this world, turn back to him, and if u find it hard to detach yourself from the world, ask God to help you

God bless you all who comes along this path

2007-01-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

What truely determines whether a person is a failure/success?

.Is it by the income the person brings home per year?
.Is it the job that the person has?
.Is it his name/reputation?

The modern world that we live in deems us failures/succesful peoplebased on the criteria above, and that's what many of us are living for. To dwell in the control of power in the various politics in the group that we are in. To have a total control of our life? Working ourselves so that we can live comfortably the way we are?

Are these things really necesary to our daily life? Or does living life to the fullness by living your days happily, able to love one another as you have been loved by god.

I guess I'm not much of a success in the way the world sees it, I dun have the 5cs. I'm doing moderately well in my studies. Plain average looking. My reputation, hmmm down the tubes I guess, I dun give a darn shit about it.

But despite all the so call setbacks, I have God. I have someone intimate journeying with me too, though she has her own setbacks and problems. But its this thing that we belong to god that brings joy to my heart. I worry not what I eat the next day, I worry not for my results, I have little worries in this world. My heart, I do not involve myself in hatred, and even if people do hate me, I love them and forgive them. Period, I worry not anything at all, for I know that he provides and will find a way out for me.

Yes though I have disappointed people, I will still proceed on with the promises I made initially and I will do my best to fufil them, though they are broken and long overdue. I will do my best to fufil these promises.

2007-01-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

Heys, guess it's been sometime since I last posted on this blog, I guess I wanna thank god for a few things that he gave me last year and is still giving

1. An emotional roller coaster that I've tide through and have grown stronger
2. Good friends who you can rely on at times
3. Growing closer to him in his love
4. Learning what it costs to really love other people, to give till it hurts
5. Eyes to see his glory everywhere in my life
6. Eyes to see how much more his love is needed elsewhere
7. Last but not least, a wonderful and beautiful girlfriend who loves me just as much as I love her

As this new year starts, there are a few things that I pray for

1. That his will be done and not mine, and that I will journey forward to discover it
2. That his love be made more visible in me as I journey closer to him
3. That my fellow brothers and sisters will learn to love one another instead of giving one another a knife in the back (Sadly in the house of god, jealousy, hatred and pride still exist in quantitive amounts)
4. That those who seek his love, his peace will find it

It had been a peculiar year for me...

The first half of the year I was feeling kind of bitter setting up a bitter blog, with bitter words to start with, and bitter thoughts to fill my heart. My doubt in the church grows each day, I see her youth leaders grown with self-pity, pride and anger in their hearts. But through the grace of god, many of them have change, while some still choose their old ways and have left the church. But a good number of them have changed and they are walking in the light of god once more. Through their actions and their deeds, you will clearly see the god that resides in these people's hearts. The prodigal children return to god's embrace, while some chose to walk astray once more.

The post con batch that I was pretty close to was disembled. People walk their individual ways, some hurt because of previous relationships in the group, some because of their reluctance to forgive, some for their own selfish reasons. It's ironic that the same people who accused me are scattered, swallowed by goodness knows what...

The people whom I knew in the group just fades as time passes, I guess they are good company to be with, except due to various circumstances... God has a plan for them I believe

The year started with the youth rally, with quarrels about who is right and who is wrong, without a single sense of love within our group. Each of us wants things done in our way with no care for the other's concerns and feelings.

With the will of god, may things proceed smoothly for those in the SYDR band...

Things took a better turn when I joined ZJ, learned more about what it takes to truely worship the lord, to give up all that you have to worship the king with our heart, our mind, our soul, our body.

All I asked now is that this year, that I learn to truly love more

In Jesus name I pray

God bless you all who comes along

2006-10-09T00:24:00.000+08:00

Pride, is it really that important?

I was reading lynette's entry on the zion joy blog page, I would say its pretty good, she gave a thorough covering about pride. Haha lynette if you are reading this, good job done!!!

We are humans, and it is now in our natural human nature to think that we are always right, and thats the sad thing, cause i guess we are so stuck in our viewpoints and blinded by our perspectives that we refuse to see what others are coming from. Hey, no joke, i'm one of them too =)

There was something inspirational that this guitarist(cant remember his name...) from Chris Bowater's worship team says, which one is more important? Being right or being reconciled?

Being right, thats what everyone is trying to prove, to be able to see things from their perspective, and claim that it only is the sole truth =) Unfortunately in the process, they purposely or unintentionally shot down their friends, putting the sake of knowledge over the price of friendship. And to the most unfortunate truth, sometimes, they ain't that right as what they claim they are. Upon realisation of their mistakes, they lost a good friend =)

And even after they realised their mistake, they refused to acknowledge that they are wrong, all just for the sake of saving face. They decide that their face is worth 10 times more than anything in their life, the rest dun matter. And I just guess thats why many good relationships turn sour too.

Well, I cant comment or criticise or judge, cause I'm one of those people, and even now, I'm struggling to hit perfection in Christ, not to judge my fellow brother or sister, but to acknowledge that he or she is indeed worth many times in the eyes of god as i'm worth. And that I know Christ starts the standard by being humble first, he washed the feet of his disciples, being the servant king. We who are of his discipleship, what are we supposed to do?

And maybe I can share with you some practical steps that I took to accomplish this

1. When someone accuses you, before you retaliate, check first, what is he/she trying to say, understand things from his/her viewpoints, and why he/she is saying this(current mental state), and of course to really take his/her words into your heart as an improvement to yourself, even if he or she is wrong, gently correct him/her.

2. Before we start to accuse others of their faults, lets look deep inside ourselves for once, before we want to say the words out, shall we look at ourselves first. Am I perfect in what I do? I make mistakes too, how should I speak it out to my brother or sister so that I will not hurt his or her feelings? How i would approach this would be to share with my fellow brother or sister my problem, and I will ask him or her for help, so even if I dun say it out, we can work together to solve the problem =)

3. Jesus gave the commandment, Love one another just as I have loved you, Love is explained in 1 corinthians 13. Are we gentle in our manner of speech(are we harsh in our intonation, do we care how our words affect them?), are our words kind when we correct our brother(do we encourage them with positive/constructive criticism rather than just pointing their faults)

4. Though sometimes, it is often meted out that "tough love" is needed at times, but I think as friends and brothers and sisters, we should only use this as a last resort, when all else really fails, and even before we should even use this tough love, have we asked god, is tough love really the best out in this situation?

Brothers and sisters, I hope you find this entry meaningful, god bless you all

In his love and mine =)

2006-10-05T00:43:00.000+08:00

It is in giving that we recieve...

There's been so many things that happen during the week, I guess this week is kinda busy for me haha. I've a lot of calling up to do, people to talk to, people to entertain with, people to work with.

And many times I've asked myself, why am i doing all this? What are my motives behind this?

I've search and search, and the question was sort of answered in my heart.

It is in my giving that I recieve more.

Its in the satisfaction in knowing that another has benefitted from a sacrifice that I did that makes me move on in what I do.

I know that in the bigger picture, somehow, I did something small yet significant in someone's life, a smile to brighten his or her day. A hand to offer help to relieve him or her from that burden.

I know that somehow, i did something for my lord, i clothe him when he was naked, talk to him when he was lonely, entertain him when he was sad, offered a hand when he need help, i know that my lord and king was there, in that person whom i help. Even though sometimes my help went unappreciated, I know that right there, the lord's face is smiling at me.

I just guess that my time spent in helping others was more worthwhile rather than spending time with myself staring in front of the screen and playing games, I just sorta find it kinda meaningful now

I guess thats that for now, I will pray more for the people whom i've been placed over with, I need guidance and direction.

God bless you all who comes into this posting =)

2006-09-15T13:15:00.000+08:00

Loving and Forgiving are you oh lord... Slow to anger, Rich in Kindness, Loving and forgiving are you...

One of the psalters that was sung on a sunday morning mass.

It just brought me back to what happen in the end of last year, and what began this year.
When a fellow brother of mine told me that I have lost my heart of worship, my first reaction was... And like what the hell, who gave you the right to judge me and to proclaim that i've lost the heart of worship. Then it lead down to the spiraling journey to hell. I felt i lost all, there is no more sanctuary left in this church which i know, people whom i knew betrayed me.

But now, when I look back, I realised what an ass I've been... Rather than ranting and bitching about how hypocritical my fellow brothers and sisters were, I left out god's message of love and forgiveness. I've been accusing others of being hypocrites, where I'm a hypocrite myself, accusing others of what I've been doing.

1 corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Jesus calls us to love and to forgive 70x7 times. I think in the context of what the lord was saying that we should forgive our fellow brothers and sisters unconditionally. And to love and to trust them back in return, even if it means getting ourselves hurt trusting them in the process once more.

And what is love? I guesse 1 corinthians 13:4-7 states it perfectly

Are we patient with one another, or we lose our cool and the next brother or sister who step on our toes we give him or her a bloody scolding just because he or she did the wrong thing again

Are we kind to one another, even if he or she made a mistake continuously are we kind in our actions in telling them that they are wrong? Or do we give them the harsh stare and harsh treatment?

Are we still easily angered when we say we love our brothers and sisters, do we speak ill of their mistakes and condemn them when we say we love them? Are our actions with love or are they of indifference and hatred?

Many of my friends also asked me this question, why should you forgive your brothers and sisters even if they keep making the same mistakes? And some of them even went to the extent of quoting scripture like this, did not Jesus say that when your brother still refuses to listen to you, you should treat him like a pagan or tax collector(a.k.a as an outcast of the community) But then again, how did Jesus treats the outcasts? He feasts and dine with them, for he says this. It is not to the perfectly healthy that i come, it is the sick who needs healing. He loves the outcasts even more, what more is there to be expected from those of us who are following his footsteps?

And one more thing, I think we ourselves make mistakes too. Why should we hold the faults of our brothers and sisters when our Lord holds non of them against us? And if we look into ourselves, we make the same mistakes too in the past, are we perfect in ourselves? Who gives us the right to judge them and condemn them just because of their faults? Aren't we ourselves imperfect too? Think of all the times that we did something dirty and that we think no one is looking? God already saw that and he forgives you for it. And I think the sins that we have committed against god is unsurmountable, but he stills forgives us and loves us,

So why cant we love as God has love us? Why cant we forgive as he forgive? Have we even start trying and asking him for the grace to do so?

God bless you all who come across this entry, may his peace and love befall upon you all

2006-08-28T10:08:00.000+08:00

The I want, I want, I want...

I have been reading too much recently, but I just guess that most of us, in fact, I would say all of us have this little I want, I want heart in us.

I want the latest Ipod
I want the latest PDA
I want to have more moolah/Cash/dough/money
I want to have (_) out of (_) (Sounds familiar to ppl with relationships?)

The list of I wants in our hearts are never ending
It goes on and on and on and on...

It looks like most of the I wants is oriented around the individual

What happen to the other self-giving I wants?

I want the best for you
I want to sacrifice my life so that others might live

I just guess its getting rarer and rarer in our humanity, I would say most of us are filled with more of the selfish "I want" rather than the self-giving "I want". It could perhaps explain the world where we are living in now.

Well it might sound cranky, but I'm actually inspired by the seminarians in punggol major seminary. They are selfless people, and in their actions and in what they do, they radiate God's love from every pore of their body. And I have only one word to say, they are so in love with god. It can be seen as every action that the brothers take, they do so with love, dedicating themselves to serve the community.

And I'm actually suprised at their determination and self-sacrifice, they would actually give up everything that they hold on to dearly for the sake and kingdom of god, and to whom does the kingdom belong to? I would say everyone in this world.

The giving of themselves, "I want to give myself up so that others might prosper and gain from the love of god". And its not just an I want, they listen to god and asked" God do u want me to serve you in this manner?"

Can we be as truly selfless and self-giving like them, can we find joy in giving up ourselves so that others may live? Can the desire in our hearts turn into a "What would you want?" rather than the long list of "I want ..."

God bless you all who come upon this entry

Amen and may his name be praised forevermore

2006-08-03T10:12:00.000+08:00

My Throat runneth over...

Arggh, my throat!!! Hello people, its been a hell long time since I update my blog. Well thank god that my final year project is finally over, or most of it =) These 4-5 months that I spent on my project has been rather, tiring, exciting, fun? Well many wonderful things have happen throughout this period of time, I can say that I've learn new things, haha.

Meanwhile it does not help when you are just about to celebrate the end of the FYP, the flu virus strikes. And ouch, a painful throat that I have now... Oh well, guess that I have to pray more and take care of myself, haha

Hmm, there are new duties assigned to me, certain things are not looking very well on the cell group, but god has reassigned me to be a new small group leader to our beloved group, "Bridges left Burning". I guess that lies on my responsibility to get to know my members well, to get to interact with them, to understand them and to gel with them. I know its kinda hard, considering that we do not know each other, but thank god for the gift of brother Jerry, he seems to be able to link well with them, heyz, that leaves me with my dota khakis, Spenc and paul, haha. Nah cant adopt this mentality, must reach out to all!!!

I guess this is going to be an exciting journey for most of us, a new family has been form in front of us, I ask god that he grant me the strength and grace to be able to reach out to them no matter what the circumstances and storms are.

Meanwhile, I still stand firm to the dream of crafting a society where one will not be judged, where one will be loved and continued to be loved for being the son or daughter of god, for we have all been purchased by his blood, muslims, jews, christians, hindus and all the other believes. For its not just by faith alone that we are saved, God's grace by letting his son shed his blood for all mankind, not just for the so called "Christians or chosen ones", but for all. So great is the love of our father that he cares not whether we are sinners, satanic worshippers, atheists. He knows one language, and that language is love itself. So great is his love, that he did not withdraw his son from the sacrifice, the price to pay all justice. So great is his love, that he used his son to pay the price for justice, his own justice that needs to be fufilled out. So great is his love that it conquered death and brought new life to all mankind.

We are all given this hope, the calling to follow into christ's footsteps, to learn and follow his will and his way, to learn to love one another just as he loves us, and to love him and to seek his will with all our mind and soul. We are all granted this opportunity, the choice to do all this

In his love and mine, God bless you all

2006-07-25T13:27:00.000+08:00

The Children of Abraham are slaughtering one another

Looking at the new of what's going on in the middle east, I would say that it is kind of sad. Sad to see that the Children of Isaac andIshmael are slugging it out with one another. Lets get the meaning of the names, Ishmael "God hears", Isaac "He laughs"

Put together sounds like God hears about what is going on and he laughs about it? Haha ok Jokes aside, but in the plan of history, God established his will throught the Jews, then the christians and finally the muslims. God is ever merciful to his children, but the senseless slaughtering is definitely not what he calls for.

The children are fighting, and they are all pointing out to one another's fault. What is going on, where is the love for life and for humanity? Israel starting a war over 2 captive soldiers and they lost 6 soldier's life in the process? A Fair trade? Many more will die if this senseless killing proceed. Why is there no room for love and peace, is war really the answer to this solutions, people are dying and crying, my friend just mentioned that and incendiary bomb has dropped unto a resident area. There was this woman who was burned and she was enclothed in flames, crying and running around in pain.

What happen to negotiations? Are guns the only way out? Can't there be any other way then to these endless violence? Is war really the only way out

I invite all my brothers and sisters to pray for an end to this endless and needless fights, that peace will flourish in the middle east, that the children of Abraham will be united rather than divided. That no matter what happens the peace of god be upon Israel and Palestine

Amen

2006-07-24T23:08:00.000+08:00

Total Surrender

What on earth is total surrender? Surrendering ourselves to God? Opening ourselves in front of him? Or saying I'm your thrall/slave/zombie, my lord, u ask me to die, i shall die for u.

Hmm, I just guess it's a mix of all this factors. Hmmm, but wait there is a difference here, our god does not want us to be his thrall/slave/zombie, he calls us his sons and daughters. And what do children do, they obey their parents haha.

And obey we must, for as certainly as our God can see, what we view as good for the time being might not necessarily be good for us in the long run. But ultimately our god being omniscience, sees ahead of our future, and he knows what our current decisions will lead on to.

Ultimately, which parent would give his child a snake when he asked for a fish, which parent would give his child stones when he asked for a loaf of bread? For as our parents love us, God loves us too, and he asks that we listen to him and obey him, for his plans are not for us to falter, but for us to prosper. That would be the call and reason to surrender, to offer our lives, to seek him first and place him first in our hearts, to seek ye first the kingdom of god, and not to put our studies, our career, our family in first place. For when we put god as the centre of our hearts, we gain his favour, and we gain blessings upon those whom we decided as second priority and forth.

The decision to give up all that we have is a tough decision. We are bound physically and emotionally to the things that we have, and we are unwilling to let them all go. Things like our family, our friends, our girlfriends/boyfriends, spouses. But the lord calls us to put these all aside, and to listen to his will and to trust in him. For he truely knows best what is best for us, so many of us are focused on the gifts and not on the giver who have many more plans for the person who recieves these gifts. And we are so constraint that we can never fully realised about the plans that he has for us. Plans to use us to bring others closer to him, plans to draw people into his love, plans to stop wars and to create peace and universal brotherhood, plans to bring HEAVEN down to earth.

My brothers and sisters who read this, everytime we say the our father, have we stop to check on the meaning of the words?

At the Our father, we said that your will be done, everytime we say the prayer is this really in our hearts?

God's blessing be upon all of you my brothers and sisters Amen!!!

2006-07-18T10:23:00.000+08:00

The wonderful painting of Life

Hmmm, hello everyone. I feel the need to write the blog again after so many, so many days of not doing anything. My hand itches, haha

Well oh well, my project to me is officially over, what is left is the presentation on August itself, but well that's far off. Time for ministry work to resume.

I was thinking and pondering about our roles in the universe, why on earth are we created here for? Possibly too much talking about the great Conspiracy with a friend of mine, has got me thinking about a lot of things, but in the end, i just guess at the end of it, we cant do much, haha

But with regards to our role in the universe, I would like to thank god for the uniqueness that he has instilled in each of us. Whereby no two person in the universe behaves exactly the same way, yes even for identical twins, as for twins who can talk and act at the same time, i have no answer for that...

Well I would invite all of you to imagine this, God is the master painter( for those of you who went to the youth rally and probably heard of this song, Jesus Master Painter of my life), I was thinking that the way each and everyone of us were made. We are like the master's paintbrushes, and the unique and funny thing is no paintbrush that the master used to paint this canvas or the life that we live in is the same. Reason? Certain paintbrushes are good to paint with and they absorb gold colour easily, others red colour, others cyan, orange, blue, purple and unlimited amount of colours. Its what the lord that has put uniquely into us that what we call talents. Certainly a painting with just a single colour would look plain.

But when the master starts to take all the paintbrushes and use them, a beautiful picture starts to form right in front of our eyes. But there's something unique about these paintbrushes, they have a mind of their own, and they paint on their own will. Sometimes the paintbrushes made a wrong stroke and paint wrongly. The master just chuckles and using that error, he painted a whole new beautiful picture out.

Have you ever heard of the story of the drunkard master artist? The king commisioned this young man to paint the best painting in the world. The young man soon went home, but he had a bad habit, he loves to drink and he accidentally spilled a drop of ink on the precious white paper that the king has given him. He started to fluster, but eureka, haha, and idea came to his mind, he proceed on with him painting.

The next day the young artist presented the painting to the king. The painting was a basket of fruits, it looked so real that even a fly came to rest on the painting. The king tried chasing the fly away, but apparently it would not budge, on a closer look, the king realised that the fly was actually painted on the paper. The king was amazed and gave the young man any reward that he desires.

Strange eh, haha, we made mistakes in our lives and God uses them to become a wonderful part of the picture, a dot of error that we make in our lives, god turns them into something wonderful, maybe better than a fly? haha

God Bless all of you!!!

2006-07-06T10:30:00.000+08:00

A new Idea!!!

Hmmm, an idea actually popped through my head yesterday at Brother Adam's house. We suddenly had a weird idea on opening a place where soul meets soul, we are planning to open a restaraunt. I was like thinking of all kinda funky names for the restaraunt, like Saddam's Singaporean Outlet(Btw my friend Adam is an Iraqi Eurasian). And he was like thinking of serving authentic Iraqi Dishes blended with a spice of Singaporean taste. And I like wanna go learn how to cook from my parents and give out the best tasting food out there. The dream of every chef, to see those who eat your food be happy and content with it. For there's no greater joy than to see someone enjoy your food that you created with soul and effort.

Well, we are gonna face several problems here, whether the plan is feasible? And like many other issues. Dang the feeling of Adam cooking kembeng Burgers just make my mouth sizzle, basket. Haha... I wish I could take a photo of us both cooking. That will be damn cool la!!! Haha, I just hope that this is part of God's plan to bring the youths back to him. Its really a funky idea, haha, and honestly I would not mind working in such an environment. Gosh imagine the fun, I'm inviting my classmates and see whether this plan is feasible. Maybe after NS we can start the business venture? Muahahaha, Food Galore, Here I COME!!!!!!

God's blessing and hmmm, maybe the smell of heaven is the smell of good food? Hahah, K kidding, shall not be too blasphemous, God's blessing be on all of you!!!

2006-07-04T11:56:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, interesting things to take note of...

I've realised something quite interesting

Superman Returns, Finding Nemo and the wild have in common? They can be used in the teachings of christianity/cathechism. Finding Nemo and the wild shows of the father's love for his child, Superman Returns shows the father's plans for the child... Hmmm interesting eh?

That's all for now, till then, when the inspiration comes up, my thoughts will be here again=)

2006-06-26T12:52:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, little ponderings to take note of...

There are certain things that are going through my head now, especially in this period where I'm having so much headache and ouch... Food poisoning, flu....zzz

1.Where am I going on in life?
2.What the **** am I doing with my life?
3.Am I in the right ministry?
4.Am I doing God's work?
5.What happen to the community that God implanted in my head?

With retrospect to each of this questions, I have clearly no idea where I'm walking to, except to listen and to obey in faith. Thoughts about this and that have been popping out here and there. In the silence, God speaks and he's very puzzling to me now.

He reavealed the person whom I might be spending the rest of my life with, yet at the same time told me that we are not meant to be together now... And that I should focus on my school/church ministry work. And that is so weird la, Guess what they call a proleptic relationship...

And at the same time, the responsibility of the cell seems to hanging on a cliff, it looks like its not working, but god still asked me to" Hold on!!! Help is on it's way...!!!" But things dun look very bright although the YES camp taught me to look at things from a different angle, and that though there seems to be no light in the things that we are doing, but still a bright little candle wick shines out and its slowly being lead to a TNT case, where explosions and bright lights are gonna follow.

Ahh the mystery and wonder of our Lord, never ceases to amazes his children, though the children still loves the darkness. God is ever patient and wants to bring them to the light, but the children are like, ok Daniel I would cope ur analogy, small infants who want to hold on to their smelly bolsters, a.k.a xiao chou chou, but then god wants to clean the bolsters and wants the children to pass him the bolsters, haha. Reminds me when I was young my mum wanted to clean my smelly bolster, but then i kept wailing and saying: "NO!!!!"

Anyways, a recent event that happened made me realise the possibility of spiritual attacks or diabolical manifestations. I've realised that though we have been emphasising on the father's love, but we forgot that part of this component means setting us free from the chains of sins, which were held on by satan to make us his slaves. And how true it was

That very night on 20th June, While I was experimenting with some funny programs that involved demonism and voodoo, the lights began to flicker on and off, and after closing the program the lights returned to normal.

My brother and I were freaked out horribly, and for that night we prayed like we never prayed before. This supernatural fear overtook me and I was really frighten about the whole matter.

When I spoke about this matter to my dad next morning, he just said that the lights were malfunctioning, and i thought i just scared myself silly... But the real attack by the evil one was not the lights flickering, it was the supernatural fear that followed, fears which only i experienced when evil manifests itself. I realised that as a christian, I have not been praying or having my own quiet time, this brought me to a new shock and wake up call by our father in heaven. He probably allow this to happen to let me realise that its time to get started with prayer life, thanks to our mother mary, we are really blessed and protected that night. Oh well I just hope that the modern society could have a wake up call that demonic entities do exist and they should not be brushed aside especially in Christian teaching.

The greatest trick of the devil was that he convinces everyone that he does not exist. And that is where he deals the greatest harm and damage, since this affliction is not done by me(the devil), aiyah must be some pyschological melodrama, but people sometimes did not realised that there might be other things behind this so called scientific explanation. We humans thought that we have become so smart that we are our own gods, literally we just turned into self centred egoistic people. But how are we really in control of our lives? How much are we in control? Can this power that we have buy the love of others? Can this power that we have make us happy forever? Can this power that we have give us peace and tranquility, the peace that all true christians enjoy?

To my skeptic friends who read this blog entry, open your eyes bigger...

God bless you all, and my love and god's love be with whoever who chances upon this entry.

2006-06-19T12:41:00.000+08:00

YES!!! The whole 4 days of breath taking miraculous experience!!!!

I would like to thank personally the whole ZJ group, my fellow family members of group six. For this breathtaking and wonderful 4 days of YES camp experience. I like to affirm my brothers and sisters, Denise, Lois, Julie, Illona, Jacq, Bernard, Chris,James and last but not least, Daniel.

Hmmm i will go through my 4 days of personal experience.

Day1:
Woke up early at 0700, went to church early cos of the heavy equipment that I have to carry, guitars, repair parts, spare parts, spare strings, a capo and other misceallanous repair stuff. I felt in such an early morning that I have nothing to do, but I just realised that I have a duty for the night prayer thingy. So i went to the church, picked up the hymn books and went on to copy some songs into my journal, for use in the future. The songs are as follows

O God You Search me(Psalm 139)

O God, you search me and you know me
All my thoughts lie iopen to your gaze
When i walk or lie down, you are before me
Ever the maker and keeper of our days

You know my resting and my rising
You discern my purpose from afar
And with Love everlasting you besiege me
In every moment of life or death you are

Before a word is on my tongue lord
You have known its meaning through and through
You are with me beyond my understanding
God of present, my past and future too

Although your spirit is upon me
Still I search for shelter from your light
There is nowhere on earth I can escape you
Even the darkness is radiant in your light

For you create me and shaped me
Give me life within my mother's womb
For the wonder of who I am I praise you
Safe in your hands all creation is made new

On Eagle's Wings(Psalm 91)

You who dwell in the shelter of the lord
Who abide in his shadow for life
Say to the lord: "My refuge,
My Rock in whom I trust"

And he will raise you up
On eagle's wings, bear you on,
The breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like th sun
And hold you in the palm of his hand

The snare of the fowler will never capture you
And the famine will bring you no fear
Under his wings your refuge
His faithfulness, your shield

You need not fear the terror of the night
Nor the arrow that flies by day
Though thousands fall about you
Near you death shall not come

For to his angels. He's given a command
To guard you in all your ways;
Upon their hand they will bear you up
Lest you dash your foot against a stone

Be thou my vision

Be thou my vision, Oh Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me save that thou art
Thou my best thought in the day and the night
Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light

Be thou my wisdom, be thou my true word
I ever with thee and thou with me, Lord,
Thou my great father and i thy true child
Thou in me dwelling, and i with thee one

Be thou my breastplate, my sword for the fight,
Be thou my armour and be thou my might
Thou my soul's shelter and thou my high tower,
Raise thou me heavenward, O Power of my power

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance through all my days
Thou and thou only, the first in my heart in my heart
High King of Heaven; My treasure thou art

High king of heaven when battle is done
Grant Heaven's joy to me,
O bright Heaven's sun
Christ of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my vision, O Ruler of all

Then it just so happens that carol and kelly came along early to work on the slides for the pnw, then Mario and company slowly arrived, along with Julianna and finally Joel and Daniel, I just only finish writing On eagle's wings when they came, Do not ask me how this is possible, but the 3 songs came to a miraculous fufilment in god's grace!!! Amen and hallelujah to that!!!

Wait theres this song that came along

Psalm 23

You make me lie down in green pastures
You make me wanting for nothing
You fill my hunger
With honey from your sweet sweet love
You make me worship before you
So I will love and adore you
You are my shepherd, You are my Jesus
You are my Lord

Yeah, well there were some spots on the A/B room that needs to be cleared up. Up came the brooms and pails and mop, haha. We had a fun time cleaning the upper room. Joel and I had a fun time pasting the windows to prevent light from coming in. And though it did to a certain extent prevent light from coming in, i think black paper or trash bags would be better, haha.
It was meeting the group members later that was very interesting, I've met familiar and new faces here and there. We played games and stuff. Its good to know the whole group on how it is. For in each of every one of them I saw christ in them. And unbelievable potential I sense in each and everyone of them. I love my group man!!!

Lunch went on, we introduced ourselves and start to break the ice. Though there are still visible signs of cliques here and there. But God told me that he will break and form them as one!!! Lunch was pretty cool, we had nasi lemak from nonya manis caterers(God bless those hands!!!). After that it was praise and worship. In the start of the camp the response to the praise and worship was not well. But knowing this is the first day. Oh well who cares? Haha

The next activity that we did was going around in surin park and snapping photos. If the chances arive i will paste the photos up in this blog, as all the photos symbolises god's love in each and everyone of our group member's perspective.

The session that was delivered was enriching. There is an interesting thing that I forgot to put in my blog here. One which Brother Michael brought up
"All stories are true, only some actually happened"
The moral values behind the stories are real, that's what brother michael was saying. The stories are just vehicles to drive these truths to our hearts.

Another interesting matter he brought up was," Many of us are still living in the past, or worried on our future. And we did not get to enjoy the present." How true this is. The past hinder our believes in the present and it could affect our future. And there are some of us who worry so much about the future that they cannot get to enjoy the present. Who knows what the future will hold? Who knows what wonderful things god is going to work in our lives. Our experiences good and bad are god's gifts to us. But instead of getting on, many of us are clinging to our past. And many of us do not know we can move on and proceed with life.

Dinner was interesting, we ate with our hands tied together, haha we went to the extent of washing plates and sharing our things together. God bless and Amen to that!!

And night came, we have plenty of sharings and a session on God's love. It was beatiful, and the sharings were wonderful too. We realised that we need not appear as high and mighty facils who are immune to sin. But we are facils with faults too. And that we are one of them. And it is through this that we learn more about one another as family members

Through the night, the prayer was on psalm 139, it was reflective heres the lyrics once more
O God You Search me(Psalm 139)

O God, you search me and you know me
All my thoughts lie iopen to your gaze
When i walk or lie down, you are before me
Ever the maker and keeper of our days

You know my resting and my rising
You discern my purpose from afar
And with Love everlasting you besiege me
In every moment of life or death you are

Before a word is on my tongue lord
You have known its meaning through and through
You are with me beyond my understanding
God of present, my past and future too

Although your spirit is upon me
Still I search for shelter from your light
There is nowhere on earth I can escape you
Even the darkness is radiant in your light

For you create me and shaped me
Give me life within my mother's womb
For the wonder of who I am I praise you
Safe in your hands all creation is made new

Day 2:

Hmmm, a fresh new day and a fresh start. The morning's pnw was good

The morning's session was about the morning prayer that we did around surin park. It was enriching lol!!!

The sessions that follow suit were good too, only pity now is that I can't really remember, but the sharings that follow were pretty deep too. We just realised how broken we (were) and not are, for the lord will heal us later at night.

During the night, healing was evident. Wounds were closed, lives were touched and forever changed never the same. The love of God flowed freely throughout the room, showing the father's love to all.

The night ended around 1230+ for most of the people, but for me and brother dan, its not over, many issues came to our mind. And god once again showed his awesome power and allowed us to be used in his plans.

Day3:

The day arrived and I was very tired, so was the rest of the group, probably the result of lack of sleep. But the immense joy that God gave me kept the rest of the group alive, and so was daniel's joy to the group(Thank God the gift of joy sia!!!)

The sessions that follow were about the Holy Spirit, they were interesting, a pity that I'm halfway sleepy, though trying to preserve the joy, haha. So not much was captured in my brain that night.

Then came QT and mass, we sat as a family througout weekend mass. They were celebrating about corpus christi(a.k.a body of christ)

Night came, baptism of the Spirit was strong, the spirit's presence was felt, the lord moved so strongly yet so gently amongst us. Many people's lives were changed.

The sharing was so strong that many of us testify to him. We ended the night with psalm 91 and psalm 23.

Day 4:

God moved in our midst once more, but there shall be nothing more i shall write, for if i should write, my wrist would be tired. There are several things that i want to testify here

God did not gave me any experiences as he touched me. He touched me by allowing me to be a part of his plan and to witness that people's lives were changed by him. That was worth more than any personal experience that I've encountered b4.

God has worked so many miracles, the session that was planned were changed on the last minute call. And he works so wonderously that even in the homily he reaffirms and ties down several important messages. And it happened for the 3 evenings straight. Praise God!!!

Well tata!!! for those who want to know more can tag me or something, haha. God bless you all, and may you all be so overflowed with his love!!!

2006-06-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

Father and a guitar...

Hmmm, just yesterday. Something just came to my mind which awestruck me. Hmmm but lets go through the days events.

Saturday Morning 7am: My dad, mum and I went to the market to have our breakfast. Eating our favorite mee pok, haha. When the end of the breakfast came, I pass my cup of drink to my dad, for i see that he has none to drink. The strangest thing was he kept looking at me while drinking the beverage. I suddenly realised something, he was ensuring that i have my fill before he drinks it, and from his reaction, i can see how thirsty he was, but he kept making sure that i have my fill before drinking the ching chow or grass jelly drink. I realised how much he sacrificed his part to ensure that his offsprings get to enjoy themselves.

Saturday Afternoon 2pm: I've just came back from pnw practice, my dad was pretty shagged out from some stuff earlier that he has to work on. He did not get a chance to have his afternoon nap. But when I got home, I asked him whether he could send me to penisular shopping centre(to have my guitar repaired), and to peace centre(to buy spare strings in preparation for yes camp and a trigger capo). Though he was tired, he stilled say yes and drove me there. Buy all the stuff on total which costs him near to a 100 +. And not to forget fuel fee and stuff which costs him another 30+.

Hmmm, lets not just put this events which my dad has selflessly sacrificed himself. On a whole, when i was young, my parents both got me what I need and not what i want. Sometimes things they regard as useless, they dun buy for me. All for the sake that they think this things will not be good for their son as they grow up. I just guess how true it is today. If I were ever spoilt by my parents, I would not be the Andrew writing this blog entry now. There are too many events and things that my dad did for me and I just could not pen it down here.

All this has come down to the reflection of God our divine father. Our father knows what is good for us and gives us only the best for what we need in our lives. Sometimes we are all like little children and wanted this particular toy or plaything that badly that we whined to god when we did not have it. But it took great wisdom for a man to find out what he really needs is not always what he wants. For the things that he thought are good for him could actually turn around and bite him back.

And there's this question that I've been questioning my self about and I question God about it. Since he has already provided, why do we pray and ask for more? Are we being selfish or uncontented. But i realised no, God has provided for us yes, but like our earthly fathers he wants to give things to us also when we ask. Providing he has done for us, he wants to satisfy our wants also. He's like our fathers who when a child requests for something, the father will give his child the thing that the child wants, and the thing will never harm his child. The same thing applies to god our father, to whom all good fathers on earth are reflections of his great love. Though yes at times, our earthly fathers are imperfect. But in a child's eyes, the father is like the symbol of perfection and someone whom the child models after. And I love both my divine and earthly fathers. Both whom cared for me, brought great comfort for me, supported me.

I just wanna wish all fathers and god the father a happy father's day in advance. =)

2006-06-02T00:29:00.000+08:00

Love only love is his way...

Hmmm, I know this seems too recent for me to write a blog entry, but ahhh, who cares...

There are several things that are going through my mind as i write this, today is spencer's b'day. Happy B'day to you, Spencer!!! And also lotsa things that have been bothering me which i find most of us reject as christians.

When I was still with the crusaders(campus crusade),I've learn a lot of spirituality from them. But, due to their hard teachings about certain things which i find extremely contradictory to my faith( I shall not say it, might be sensitive to those who read it). Hmmm, a meeting with one of them about the god of love just left me stunned. They believed that our father, is someone who is righteous and full of justice, not just someone who is a father of love. That which i agree upon. But when the topic falls into loving others the situation just doesn't turn around. It just became such a very weird topic, that even up till now, I find it quite hard to swallow.

The facts that though god is a god of love, he is still a god of justice and god of righteousness. People with sin will still be eliminated??? It comes a long way to us talking about the children that God love? God did not send Jesus to die just for the Christians. God sent his son to die for all<==once again the emphasis is on "all". That means, non believers in our faith like the muslims, the jews, the buddhists, the hindus and all free-thinkers. God loves us so much that he did not die for just the christians and catholics, he died for all. And by his blood, everyone on earth has been made brothers and sisters in him. But acknowledging that for the individual is an altogether different matter, as by coming whether to accepting him as a friend and a brother and knowing that you are not alone. You have a family in heaven waiting for you(God the father and the saints, your brothers and sisters who have gone one step earlier into meeting the lord), a family on earth( the church community that is scattered throughout the world). You will never be alone once you have this knowledge.

And to think of the burning of sinners and non-believers might be too extreme a thought, yes, one can quote scripture and insist that all non-believers will burn in hell, thus creating this fear which most evangelists are driven towards for their mission. The mission of saving souls. The fear of having a friend burn in hell was totally unthinkable. Thus the aggresive marketing of, "Have you been saved?"

The intention was well, but the idea of it bringing across has been twisted by some. Some who go to all lengths just to get their friends converted. Or even roam the streets asking strangers whether they have been saved. But these series of actions had caused potential christians to be pissed off. From the non-christian/ sometimes atheist point of view. "You are very irritating, can you just**** off?" Sometimes they are being forced into situations whereby its either convert or your soul will burn, or making the knowledge that if you don't take jesus, no other way. Its due to actions of insensitvity that caused the rise of atheism among the populace. Rise of skeptism has been pouring out of the communities due to the thoughts of since this god loves us so much, why is he condemning us to hell?

For me i personally believe in this, our god is a god of love. One who loves us all, loves us so much and know that we are in shit that he's willing to send his son down to the shit and drag us out of shit, getting himself dirtied in the process. He is the judge, who, gave men the sentence of death, took of his wig, walk towards the man, take the keys and free his chains, and put the chains on himself. And taking the place of where men is supposed to go. Death and eternal darkness... And why would a god of love sent his son down to die for all, and end up saving those whom he called christians. It makes no sense... Its totally illogical... You dun say you love all and only end up saving a handful?

There has to be an explanation. I've search for answers for some time. And I've realised something. Salvation has been offered to all freely. And whether or not someone wishes to accept it or reject it is up to them. And that for salvation of non-believers, i was wondering about the line from matthew 25

31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Makes you wonder about the unbelievers, for God say something along this lines, and does salvation or getting save really matters here now? I believe that by not doing god's will and not loving at all is an act of rejecting your own salvation. The lord is in the poor the sick, the hungry and the oppressed. Not to mention those who have been judged by our society as outcasts. Are we there for them? Or are we just another one of those supposedly "higher ups " who think these people are dirt and not worth living in the society. Or those who think these people are scum of the earth, children of satan and those who should not mix with the children of righteousness?

Hmmm WWJD(What Would Jesus Do?). There are people who believed that in Matthew 18:15-17

15"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Hmmm pagan or tax collectors, the most hated people of that time to the jews. Hmmm it doesn't sound right, why would Jesus ask someone to treat him like that? Then again, how did Jesus treat the tax collectors? He loved them even more and pray for them. And what do modern christians do to people who are hated and have faults. They treat them even worse them before and segregate them from the rest of the community. Ahhh, know how atheists are form now?

They are the results of our pride, our rash judgements, people who feel that they do not recieve the love that they should from the community. And when people ask why certan people reacted to this way. They need more love, rather than a thou art holy man giving directions and pointing their faults. We have been so busy to think that we are spotless and point other's faults without checking on our own, my o my... the christian hypocrites we have in our midst this days. But nontheless I do admit that this kinda people exist in my church. The church of The immaculate Heart of Mary, how do I know? I used to be one of them. The so called holier than thou art christian elder bro whom many looked up to. But as the years gone by, I realised we are all imperfect. So why bother judging, the bros and sis that were given to me needs love rather than criticisms/correction =). Love does wonders to people, it makes an empty weekday church feeled with lifely people, credit to youths who has the brotherly and sisterly like love in them.

As much as god loves us, I believe we as christians should abandoned our pride and learn to be humble and to serve, rather than expecting to be served. Yesh, I believe that some people will say that it is impossible, yesh impossible as a mere human. But once we have become the children of god, the holy spirit is available for us. The spirit which teaches forgiveness(unconditionally), love(unconditionally) and no judgement(pure love). Many have said that this traits are impossible to achieve as humans, but have we asked the lord our god who makes all things possible? I've did it, am still doing it and asking for help, and i believe we should all work towards this goal of pure love for all. I believe this love is essentially the key to heaven=)

I try my best to love all, though i know not how, but attempting, I bear no grudges any longer, and my trick is look at everyone, they have the face of christ imprinted on their faces, how can i reject them, for doing so rejects christ. And not to mention that these are all my brothers, the one that shares the divine lifeline from our father, how can i hate my siblings(yesh some of them can be annoying at times, but i still love them, and them refers to everyone in this world, including osama bin laden, saddam hussein, george bush). For with finding the love of god, its too immense to keep it to oneself, it must be spread out, haha.

And as for why i would want to evangelise, I will say god gave me this love, i want to share it with my friends, i want to show not only this love through words, but through my actions, i believed actions speak louder than words=). I wanna spread the love of Jesus to all. And I intend to stop all judgements, hatred and prejudices, especially in my own church.

I want to build a community where there is love all around, no more backstabbing, everyone is truthful to one another. Where everyone can learn and love to forgive unconditionally, where no more judgements and politics running around in church, whereby true friendship in christ exists. And whereby people who walk in will say that Christ truely live in our hearts=). A place where all the youth groups are united and not blabbering about one another's faults. A place where i will live to see my children know god in peace. A community with more than a million youths standing together praising god and loving one another even though they know not each other's names. A place where all will say that heaven has come to earth and its people's hearts.

Sounds like a dream right? I invite any of you all who wish to build this community to join me, Thank you for taking time to read this article and God bless you all =)

2006-06-01T00:09:00.000+08:00

I'm back again, 3 weeks to go

Heys, after a tough and long week, i've felt quite recharged. Hmmm I expect to find some peace and quietness and home as I return. Apparently, I was not blessed with it.

I came home and found my elder brother giving his usual atheistic lectures to my younger brother, ranting about the church being the setback for modern humanity. Whereby God the father who created a son left him out in the world to die. Then at the end of the day came back and say I love you??? Haha, the miracles of today might be science tommorow. A lot of crap that came from his mouth as usual. I'm spending half my time trying to find the truths to some of his answers. And i still cant find them. But i have a solution to the world's disasters

Me: Dad, whats this? why did you all0w disasters to occur and take away human life and prolong suffering? Why????

Dad: I've created you, what have you done so far???

Me:.......

I was stumped over that statement.

Haha, i'm not exactly an intellectual, just saying things that come from my heart. Too me, I just guess my head doesn't have teh capacity to store so much knowledge, haha. I would much rather seat down, compose and play music that people enjoy. Though im at my dry creativity stage, trying to improve technically.

Here's a nice poem

THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up,
and then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mineand we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...“As a parent,
what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone love them.
All they can do is let themselves be loved.”

To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgiveby practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another,
but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said, “Just know that I am here... always.”

-author unknown

2006-05-22T01:08:00.000+08:00

Y.E.S Retreat 2006/ Y.I.S.S Camp

Venue:Ihm Church, 24 Highland Road,
Singapore 549115,
Phone (65) 6288 9140,
Fax (65) 6280 8411

Person to contact: Kevin(90884850)

Cost:$35/pax

Testimonials:

- Vincent Chia, 16 “I’ve never experienced God as something real or tangible. But during one of the sessions, I actually found myself getting closer to God and I’ve never really felt so loved before. His love just overtook my whole being and I finally found the strength to forgive my dad. I never knew God could work in such a manner. It was a burden lifted off me. For me, the Y.E.S retreat served as a bridge that has mended the broken link between me and my dad."

- Margaret Lee, 18 “My experience in Y.E.S was mind-blowing, and it provided me a chance to take my Catholic faith more seriously. I used to be only a Sunday catholic but now I find the desire to want to KNOW God better. No words can describe the immense joy I felt during the Y.E.S retreat. I know my life will never be the same again. I just want to make Him known now!”

- Kenny Tan, 21 “I came alone to the retreat but I've made so many friends after attending Y.E.S in 2004. The best friend I've got to know is God. He has touched my heart with his love. For those who are hesitating, I encourage you to take this chance and you will not live to regret it. It’s simply awesome!"

Come and experience the love of God which has been outpoured for all, the love which heals all pains and brings forgiveness

For my non catholic brothers who wanna experience this camp, fret not, theres the YISS(Youth In the Spirit Seminar) This is in fact the best Life in the Spirit seminar which i have attended so far. Ok the main objectives of this camps is to show to everyone that there is a meaning to life, there is no forced conversions or anything, but a realisation that there is this father that loves you. And willing to do anything just to get your love back. Come experience the god whom we all acknowledge as a father to us!!!

Calling all youths between 16-30, come and see the light!!!

::: Where and when?
When: 15 to 18 June 2006Where: Catholic Spirituality Centre, 1261 Serangoon Road Cost: $40 per person (all meals and materials included)For all aged 16 to 30Closing date for registration is 8 June 2006

::: What is the Youth in the Spirit Seminar (YISS)?
The Youth in the Spirit Seminar is an authentic and awesome experience of the Divine. If you have ever wondered about the meaning of life; whether God really exists or if you’re seeking a fresh encounter with the Lord, this is one retreat you don’t want to miss.

Brimming with heartfelt worship, pulsating with fun and packed with lively talks and discussions, this 4-day stay in camp promises to be a revolutionary experience for all. So sign up today and join the thousands of young people in Singapore who have throughout the past 16 years, experienced a truly unforgettable touch of heaven. But of course don't just take our word for it, come and experience Him yourself!

::: The 2006 Theme
“The Marvellous Light” is the theme for this year’s Youth in the Spirit Seminar. You are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim of Him who called you out of darkness into his Marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9

::: What's Youth in Spirit Seminar ( Y.I.S.S ) all about?
The Youth In The Spirit Seminar (YISS) is an annual retreat organised by Amplify Ministries. The first YISS was held 14 years ago in 1990 with a humble 30 participants and today the numbers have since multiplied to over 100.

The Archbishop has also graced past years’ YISS with his presence and celebration of the Eucharist. Those who have attended previous years’ YISS can attest to experiencing God’s awesome love. It has enabled participants to develop a more lasting and deeper relationship with Him. Some participants have gone off to realise God’s work after encountering His love and grace.

The YISS seeks to renew and revitalise your spirituality and aims to reveal His truth to you. We have seen non-believers believe again, and we have witnessed the hurt and oppressed receive healing through the Holy Spirit.

The YISS simply aims to provide answers to the curious young people of today and to help you experience first hand how real His love is! Come and be changed!

::: Activities & Programmes
The jam packed 4-day programme is designed to amplify the Heartbeat of God through passionate praise & worship, fun, games, deep reflection and lively discussion. We will have thought provoking sessions which will set you thinking.

Some of the topics to be covered include:
- Seeing God as a Perfect Father- Why Did Jesus Die?- Lordship of Jesus or Self-help?- Hello Holy Spirit!- Living for a Mission- Equipped for the Mission- Staying connected

::: Why is it for you?
The YISS 2006 is apt for those who hunger for God and his endless love - especially if you have many burning questions that you need answered. Definitely suited for those who want to experience the living God through passionate Praise & Worship, healing, lively discussions and even in fun activities. It promises to be an experience that would renew and invigorate you as you witness the extent of His love and grace. Step up and be amazed. Come and be changed!

::: Testimonies from participants of past YISS retreats

- Julia Woon, 22“During the YISS camp, I actually found myself getting closer to God and I’ve never really felt so loved before. His love for me has always been there, but I never really accepted it. After the YISS camp, I began to open up my heart and accept Him into my life. For me, the YISS camp served as a bridge that has mended the broken link between me and God."

- Cheryl Chia, 22“My experience in YISS was mind-blowing, and it provided me a platform to take my religion, my life one step forward. I didn’t want to be a sleeping Catholic no more. I didn’t want to just be one of those passers-by who happen to come across and not bother to KNOW God. No words can describe the immense joy I felt during the YISS. It was a burden lifted off me. I felt much lighter; it brought my journey with God to a different level. It really just WOWed me so much that I knew then, that my life would never be the same again. Instead, it would be better!”

- Christopher, 23“I've made so many friends after attending the YISS in 1999. The best friend I've got to know is God. He has touched my heart with his love. I encourage you to take this bold step in faith to come and experience his love & joy."

- Eugene Wee, 21 “I've been to many camps, but none can compare to the experiences of the Living God in the YISS. He has touched and changed my life for the better!"

- Rosalind, 28“It was the most intimate encounter I have ever had with God. He is REAL! I have discovered, a totally new way of communicating with Him that is so tangible. My faith in him has been truly convicted. Since then, He has brought much peace and joy into my life!"

Christianity was never a religion, it's a father and child relationship. God loves all of you as his children, whether you are a Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, Freethinker or other believers. He loves you deeply and wants to be with you and there for you. And God has already called you as his children!!!

2006-05-20T01:14:00.000+08:00

Food for thought
I've got some thoughts that clutter up during the week, and here are some of them...

The picture of the sistine chapel, the one that strikes me the most.

I thought this picture was describing about the seperation of humanity and god, by just this much, less than a finger's length away, so close, yet we are unable to grasp it. But on the other perspective which I see, the man could have just stretched out abit further and he would haf reached god, if he would just stand up or stretch out...

I've been thinking that so many times we wanted something done badly, and we leave everything to god to settle and to handle. But the thing is, god has already stretched out his hand in waiting for us to reach out, the only thing we need to do is to stretch out for him, then he will carry us through to new places. Ahh the beauty of it.

Its like god wants you to do your part, and he will carry on with the rest and just bring you through it. Sometimes when we asked god for solutions, he invites us out of our comfort zones, like probably giving the excuse of tiredness of his journey, or maybe tiredness from life. But he was always there to stretch out his hands, and he was waiting for us to take the proactive step forward. I guess thats what the rhinoes do, when god invites them with his hands, they dun take slow steps, they charged towards him like small kids who saw an ice cream man arriving in the neighborhood, and they dun hesitate. So i invite my bro's and sis's, god has been constantly inviting u, have u like reply his invitation, or are u too busy praying and presenting ur problems to him, when he had already showed u the way to the solution and waiting for you to come to him.

The picture of Jesus and a child from http://bogletown.freewebspace.com/photo.html

The picture of Jesus and a child struck me also.

The thoughts of this came to my mind, Jesus and this child was walking down this road, with Jesus' hand holding on to the child's small hands. They walk and walk down this long road, and at this time, the child asks Jesus, "Lord can u let me go? I'm tired and I wanna take a rest, I dun wanna go further." Without further due, Jesus let go of the child's hand. The child begins to wander around. But christ followed secretly behind, and often offering his hands should the child come back to him. The child fell down and hurt himself, Christ ran over and sat the child at his lap, nursing him, though the boy was sometimes unaware of it because through his hurts, he blind Christ from his eyes. But Christ was still there nursing and caring for him. When the child was tired, Christ carried the child on his shoulders and walked on. And throughout the journey whenever Christ felt that the child should learn to stand on his own and could walk on a certain path, he puts the child on that path. Then walking just a few steps ahead of the child, he turned around and offer his hands to the child, the child was given a choice to move forward and to continue on the journey, even if the child is reluctant, Christ's hands are still there to wait for him. Once the child reaches Christ, He lifts the child onto his shoulders and they walked down the road. And when sometimes when christ knows that the child had tried his best, he walked over and picked the child and put it on his shoulders and walk down the road.

Wherever we go, god's hands are there for us, but are we willing to walk those few extra steps to allow him to carry us through? or are we blindly walking or in our pain and grief sit down and refuse to budge? God is inviting us, his hands are still there, though we might not see it due to our pains and hurts, thinking that at times god abandon us, like the story of the footprints in the sands, where it was god who carried us through our most difficult part in our life. God sometimes sends pain to grow us, and the best lessons are learn through pain. The lesson that we went through could be used by god to aid others especially those who might walk the same mistakes that we made before, or even aid those who had already walked the way. Whenever will we start to be selfless instead of selfish, to love and not to hate, to give chances rather than judging and condemning, to forgive and not holding the grudge and to pick ourselves up from our negativity and focus on the positive side? There's so much more in life than to focus on the agents that satan has sent to us. If we choose to remain in god's life by choosing the pathway that he had set. We will make this earth a better place for people to live in, and bring heaven down to the hearts of people

God bless you all, have a nice day!!!

2006-05-15T16:19:00.000+08:00

Heyz, I'm back

Yoz, people, I'm back from the silence. Wellz, after 3 whole dayz of not so complete silence, i've come back. And things look fine the way they are. God spoke to me about some things, and i think its not time to reveal about them. Yeah maybe when the time is right, i might paste the stuff that i wrote onto this blog. I've been having thoughts about retreat and our human character. I've been racking through the jimi hendrix articles and found some interesting quotes

"When I die, just keep playing the records."

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power... the world will know peace"

"Music is my religion."

"It's funny how most people love the dead. Once you're dead you're made for life."

"Music is a safe type of high. It's more the way it was supposed to be. That's where highness came, I guess, from anyway. It's nothing but rhythm and motion."

"The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar."

"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens."

"The story of life is quicker than the wink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye, until we meet again."
"When you die you're just getting rid of that old body."

"You can leave if you want, we're just jammin' that's all."

"We call it 'Electric Church Music' because to us music is a religion."

"Technically, I am not a guitar player, all I play is truth and emotion."

"When I was a little boy, I believed that if you put a tooth under your pillow, a fairy would come in the night and take away the tooth and leave a dime. Now, I believed in myself more than anything. And, I suppose in a way, that's also believing in God. If there is a God and He made you, then if you believe in yourself, you're also believing in Him. So I think everybody should believe in himself. That doesn't mean you've got to believe in heaven and hell and all that stuff. But it does mean that what you are and what you do is your religion. I can't express myself in easy conversation—the words just don't come out right. But when I get up on stage—well, that's my whole life. That's my religion. My music is electric church music, if by 'church' you mean 'religion', I am electric religion."

One of those that inspired me was "When the power of love overcomes the love of power... the world will know peace" I was just thinking whether this is possible especially to the endless human selfishness that rages in our hearts, which condition us to think only about ourselves.

Ahh, how great it would really be, to just believe in that, my gosh with love, George Bush, saddam hussein and osama bin laden might just give each other one big bear hug. Imagine that a world where there will be no more war, no more cries of vengeance. Where everyone can just live in harmony. But no, its this bloodthirsty nature in our hearts that wishes to see justice done. But what justice is there, when blood is spilt, and more blood will shed from it.

It sorts of reminds me of the chinese kung fu films i watch as a kid, A's master killed B's master. B was angry and swore revenge. B went training and learned the flying kick. B uses flying kick and kill A's master, A was angry, swore vengeance, and learnt the mantis claw. After ten years A uses mantis claw and snaps B's neck. B's children saw everything and swore vengeance against their enemies, "B's family". And the slaughtering and bloodshed continues for generations and generations. Until someone with the right mind decides to unite A and B's family through marriage. But then thats another story to tell hehz. haha

Well i just guess marriage is a way to solve feuds, but i think a sacrifice is necessary. Think of the poor girl and the poor boy, haha family's at war with one another(reminds me of Tristan and Isolde, or Romeo and Juliet) .It really lets me ponder upon the sacrifice of christ to appease our human rage, when someone who loves us is willing to die for us and still say "I Love you" and "I forgive you". And all this simply just because these words "I love you". Ahh the power of love so strong that a zealot named simon can live together with a roman tax collector named matthew, or even with the roman citizen named Saul, whose been kicking their asses since High priest annanias makes a big fuss, makes us ponder what true love is, haha

2006-05-08T22:52:00.000+08:00

Hmmm a long monthly blog entry arrives....

Heyz, a long long time since im entering this entry again, guess im freaking busy with what stuff is going on now, didn't really bother to put stuff in here. Hmmm I just guess that some people are just to eager to judge others and their actions. Without really finding the real reasons behind them. The way i view things at church now is still so weird. Yes, I admit that the church is not perfect, but im thinking whether is it spirit led or human led. Is it committing "auto da fe" again? Going back to the era when the crusades are right? Whereby god allows us to judge and condemn others? What a mockery to the religion that I'm looking for. Thought I found it, but then again, the old excuse which people point out, its human error!!! Then when do people in the church start to realise about their mistakes? ZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZ... Haiz a long way to go, im trying my best to become a christian, though it looks like the world is against me. Gosh!!! guess that satan tries to drag me down and become like him haha...

Hmmm as for guitar, i don't really know whats going on. My fingers aren't as smooth as ever, making more and more mistakes as i play haiz....

As for the blog story, i decide to move it to another location. so its temporily deleted from here

2006-04-15T00:46:00.000+08:00

Hello I'm back in action!!!!
Heyz after a long, long time, I just guess its time to be back in the blog for a while, gosh its been a year. 2006 is now in and it is going to be easter soon. I just had the urge to go back into writing, maybe "stupid stuff" to certain people, or maybe" words of wisdom" to others, i just guess that this is a result of disconnection from the rest of the world, a life plagued by dota, alias DEFENSE*OF*THE *ANCIENTS ALLSTARS!!! Hell yeah, attached above me is the picture of goofy old me, *MAGNET*(Andre), Paul(kick ass Muay Thai guy), and of course this beloved picture would not have been done without the effort of our fren Spencer the greatest drummer that i have ever met and a friend that i will treasure for life.
Oh well, I guess that its time for me to do new things to the blog, the motive has change. No longer the purity that comes in the baptism of fire and pain, no... For a long year of pain and friendship i've went through, ive decided that enough shit is enough shit. Its time for a change, it will be "atrum monumentum, ignis mare, sanctuera maculo, lapsus linguae" in their respective latin translations "Dark memoirs", "Sea of fire", "sanctuary defiled", and "slip of tongue".
Why this terms?

"Dark memoirs", to signify the pain that i went through last year, over a course of betrayals, especially by my own brethen

"Sea of fire", the view of what i'm seeing now, every single thing a crimson red, the earth and its denizens calling out for the injustice dealt to them, especially people who claim they are from the mother church and yet living a life of hypocrisy, dealing and hurting others by spreading rumours which were so untrue. The truth will speak for itself soon....

"Sanctuary Defiled", What I have considerered my sanctuary, my home and my church, have now been turned to places where i can never go to, whereby they become thorns constantly pricking at my heels as i walk through the bushes filled with hidden thistles....

"a slip of tongue", to show how promises are so easily broken, the trust of friendship that is long like wine, broken over a series of hurtful untruths and words

If anyone should ask me whether i'm bitter over this issues, i'd really don't know a darn abt it.

I'm really starting to question god, why u create this world whereby every single thing seems to be a lie, and he slowly carresses my mind with this answers. "I've created man, to unknot this tangles, and i've created you, what have you done about it?" And its this answers that are starting to crack me up....

2005-11-05T15:24:00.000+08:00

Hmmm schools starting, I didn't really have much time to write here, guess it would be quite some time before this blog gets musty, haha. Yeah, the crusade camp was awesome, though i really couldn't be bothered about most of their teachings about faith alone and stuff. I guess that god has a purpose for letting the reformation take place, its either us catholics are too slow in reaching the people or we are currently inefficient in doing evangelising. Whereas the rest of our christian brothers recognise the importance of salvation to each soul, their belief that if you are not a christian, you will go to hell, so they are probably busy doing their best to save as many people and prevent them from going to hell, lol, still i wish that the purpose of christianity is more about getting to know about the father's love and not just sharp calls to people that if they don't believe, its a one way ticket to hell.
Honestly thinking, I'm kinda worried about my brother, he rejected his faith which he once believed in. I don't really know what are his reasons for doing so, but i just hope that he will return to the father's arms once again.
Well god bless to all my brothers and my sisters, haha guess it wun be 2 weeks till i celebrate my 18th b'day, yeah hope it will be a blast. I hope by then, I can come up with my first neo classical piece.

2005-10-24T01:15:00.000+08:00

Be thou my vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven’s joys, O bright heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

I really haf no idea why this song struck me so much, that it convinces me to download quite a number of the same song, but sang and covered by different artists, this is a song that had been sung by centuries, and it originated from a song near slanehill. I could imagine the Irish people celebrating St Patrick's day, and singing these songs joyfully to the lord, irregardless of their denominations.
The wonders which god our father could do for each and every one of us.
Hmmm, there are many thoughts surging through my head, i guess there is one thing that i really have to learn, and that is to trust, no matter how much sucky the result if someone else handles it, i still have to trust him/her. Firstly for the sake of friendship, some of my friends were pretty annoyed when i encroached into their terrirtory, especially during my working days. Haha, I really had no idea what the future holds for me, a GPA of 2.4 is annoying me
i wanna go nus, guess it's outta reach for me now, now im planning to do well and get inside ntu, study computers instead of playing them 24/7.
I'm still thinking of virtuosity as a possible career in the future, but Andre raised some points which i didn't really see earlier. The market is already saturated with such stuff, and that guitarists especially lead guitarists tends to have an egoistic approach towards the band, thinking that all the limelight has to be on them, haha. I really need to think really hard about my future, my friends seem to think i'm spoiling my future, and my parents are pretty worried about my gpa score, especially over my last two sems
Haha... Well guess no point looking back now, time to move on and start to improve
God bless all of you people in post con, especially my bros and my sisters

2005-10-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

Meet Kat one of the woman whom i respect other than the matriachs in my family. She's an awesome shredder considering her virtuosing skills.... She shreds faster than joe Satriani, and she shreds the violin too, man, ballz of my hat for her dude.... This could be considered one of the rarities in this male dominated world of guitar shredding... Haha, it just reminds me of what daryl has to say about women who know music and they can play better than me, this is something to add on to what he has to say. =) Wondering if that was what you have to say? eh

2005-10-06T21:49:00.000+08:00

Hmmm i just guess that everyone might just have his/her own unlucky/sway day... I had mine... and i felt damn dissed off, feel like ventin frustation on something.... Anything..... Solos which i feel like chopping, arggggHHHHHH!!!!! I'm turning berserk, but after a nice chat with my fren david phipps, haha things sorta turn a lighter side... We were talking abt Mats(dunno why some of my frens refer them as mutts) but anyway, he came up wit the typical mutt life from his studies and surveys as a prefect of St Pats , here it goes....

8am: come sch

recess: all go smoke

12pm: ciao sch
go "mosque"

Hmmm cant really figure what goes on after 12 but who cares lol, a study of a particular race in Singapore and what they do, no offense to any of the Mats who read this.... But yeah just a finding from a fren of mine lol......

Btw i'm no racist, so anyone who comments that i'm one 's gonna get it from me =)

2005-10-02T01:41:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm guess i will be stuck here for the rest of the week, got a new s520ex guitar
The ideal shredding machine, woo 24 frets to express my freedom... hell yeah... guess can start to practice on the crazy rifts that nobody tried before, Guess im currently a full fledged member of post con, dunno whether zj wants me back though.... so sad.....haha...

2005-09-22T01:16:00.000+08:00

Tiring day......
Haiz...... So shagged, and I've only earned 27.5 bucks today, i am beginning to wonder whether this job that i took as a banquet worker is worth my blood and effort... I could be at home shredding(or trying to...), practice my sweeps and arpeggios, or just play some crazy blue stuff, but i must have the money to get my dream guitar, though i have not realise what it looks like or yeah...... God has been really kind to me, through his grace, i have not felt tired throughout the whole banquet nor did i slack in my service, guess he is an awesome father after all eh....

'

This man cries for the sins of the world going on 24/7, prositution, abortion, rape, murder, incest, gambling, fornication, adultery, theft, embezzlement etc....... To stop his flow of tears this hot line has been set up,
1800- 911-STOP-SINNING and an alternative hotline has been set up in case the first line is flooded 1900-911-START-LOVING. For it is the power of love that stops all pain, love that causes a god to send his son to save creation, love that covers sin, love that erases the bad past of a beast condemned by society, but makes him the human being who he is, love that ensures no one is an accident in life, but everything fearfully and carefully made. And finally love that makes our hearts cry out to god "Father, Papa, ABBA, Daddy"......

2005-09-17T22:29:00.000+08:00

Hmmm second input, so far this is my second input for my new blog. Thank god the damned exams were over. Less crap to worry about. Thank god for dragging me through this tiring period. Guess its off to work for me though, working to get

or
lol either of those, ahhh cant wait to lay my hands on them

2005-09-13T15:00:00.000+08:00

Hmmm me first update......
Hello peepz in the internet world, first time trying to do a blog.... Trying to implement my html skills to better this lol.... Pardon my bad english... I came from a chinese speaking family.... So yeah, hope to write some good stuff, yeah, today's bloody papers just ended. Damn glad they are over