We are free, free from sin. Free from the things that binds us down. How true is it?

We claim we love God, yes in our lips and in our mouths every saturday in my ZJ Community we sing hymns and praises and love songs to him, yet our hearts... do they really belong to him?

I question this myself, I sing songs of love to God, yet I grumble when all he asks is just a little quiet time with him. Isn't that strange, it resembles couples on earth. In most of the relationships, everyone seems just to dig something out of it for themselves, but non or few wishes to give away as much as they dig. Similiarly, I want the good things and the blessings from god, yet I myself do not wish to give him or others the good things myself

When God asks me to perform a service for him in the middle of my exams, I say, "Lord my papers are more important!!!" When I am in the middle of something interesting, and God asked me to pray, I say, "God, later la!!! Can't You wait?". When i want to sleep le, God asked me to pray for someone, I tell him "Another time la!! Now need to sleep cannot pray..." I just went into confession, days laters I'm back into the confession box... God wants me to lead his people into worship, I say the same words that many other prophets used earlier,"Lord I C.M.I(cannot make it)" even though he kept reminding me, "Son, my grace is enough for you..."

Ordinarily if God were your friend or maybe someone close to you, he will probably be pissed off at you, do that to your girlfriend or spouse, be prepared to walk down the road to perdition

However, him despite knowing how much of a slut I am to worldly attractions and to earthly concerns, he is ever patient, knowing that I have more to learn from, even if I still continue to be a slut of this world. The wonderful thing is he loves me, and most of all he understands me.

Despite all the shit that I've done to him, the wonder of it is, he still loves me. He did not take away his blessings on me when I sin, rather, he grace them more abundantly on me to fight against sin. He was not angry with me, rather he love me even more when I fell, like the Shepherd who left the 99 to search for the lost one, he is that king of mine who cares for me and constantly woo my heart back to him. Many people failed me and I've failed them, but he is the only one who has never failed me thus far, he allows trouble to come for me to learn, pains that I can grow and be stronger, joy for me to carry on my walk through life, and many other countless blessings.

Truely How Great is our God

I am writing this to encourage many of my brothers and sisters in the faith to walk on and persevere, god's blessings are abundant, his love is even more abundant. Turn away from the seductions and false promises of this world, turn back to him, and if u find it hard to detach yourself from the world, ask God to help you

God bless you all who comes along this path

What truely determines whether a person is a failure/success?

.Is it by the income the person brings home per year?
.Is it the job that the person has?
.Is it his name/reputation?

The modern world that we live in deems us failures/succesful peoplebased on the criteria above, and that's what many of us are living for. To dwell in the control of power in the various politics in the group that we are in. To have a total control of our life? Working ourselves so that we can live comfortably the way we are?

Are these things really necesary to our daily life? Or does living life to the fullness by living your days happily, able to love one another as you have been loved by god.

I guess I'm not much of a success in the way the world sees it, I dun have the 5cs. I'm doing moderately well in my studies. Plain average looking. My reputation, hmmm down the tubes I guess, I dun give a darn shit about it.

But despite all the so call setbacks, I have God. I have someone intimate journeying with me too, though she has her own setbacks and problems. But its this thing that we belong to god that brings joy to my heart. I worry not what I eat the next day, I worry not for my results, I have little worries in this world. My heart, I do not involve myself in hatred, and even if people do hate me, I love them and forgive them. Period, I worry not anything at all, for I know that he provides and will find a way out for me.

Yes though I have disappointed people, I will still proceed on with the promises I made initially and I will do my best to fufil them, though they are broken and long overdue. I will do my best to fufil these promises.

Heys, guess it's been sometime since I last posted on this blog, I guess I wanna thank god for a few things that he gave me last year and is still giving

1. An emotional roller coaster that I've tide through and have grown stronger
2. Good friends who you can rely on at times
3. Growing closer to him in his love
4. Learning what it costs to really love other people, to give till it hurts
5. Eyes to see his glory everywhere in my life
6. Eyes to see how much more his love is needed elsewhere
7. Last but not least, a wonderful and beautiful girlfriend who loves me just as much as I love her

As this new year starts, there are a few things that I pray for

1. That his will be done and not mine, and that I will journey forward to discover it
2. That his love be made more visible in me as I journey closer to him
3. That my fellow brothers and sisters will learn to love one another instead of giving one another a knife in the back (Sadly in the house of god, jealousy, hatred and pride still exist in quantitive amounts)
4. That those who seek his love, his peace will find it


It had been a peculiar year for me...

The first half of the year I was feeling kind of bitter setting up a bitter blog, with bitter words to start with, and bitter thoughts to fill my heart. My doubt in the church grows each day, I see her youth leaders grown with self-pity, pride and anger in their hearts. But through the grace of god, many of them have change, while some still choose their old ways and have left the church. But a good number of them have changed and they are walking in the light of god once more. Through their actions and their deeds, you will clearly see the god that resides in these people's hearts. The prodigal children return to god's embrace, while some chose to walk astray once more.

The post con batch that I was pretty close to was disembled. People walk their individual ways, some hurt because of previous relationships in the group, some because of their reluctance to forgive, some for their own selfish reasons. It's ironic that the same people who accused me are scattered, swallowed by goodness knows what...

The people whom I knew in the group just fades as time passes, I guess they are good company to be with, except due to various circumstances... God has a plan for them I believe

The year started with the youth rally, with quarrels about who is right and who is wrong, without a single sense of love within our group. Each of us wants things done in our way with no care for the other's concerns and feelings.

With the will of god, may things proceed smoothly for those in the SYDR band...

Things took a better turn when I joined ZJ, learned more about what it takes to truely worship the lord, to give up all that you have to worship the king with our heart, our mind, our soul, our body.

All I asked now is that this year, that I learn to truly love more

In Jesus name I pray


God bless you all who comes along

Pride, is it really that important?

I was reading lynette's entry on the zion joy blog page, I would say its pretty good, she gave a thorough covering about pride. Haha lynette if you are reading this, good job done!!!

We are humans, and it is now in our natural human nature to think that we are always right, and thats the sad thing, cause i guess we are so stuck in our viewpoints and blinded by our perspectives that we refuse to see what others are coming from. Hey, no joke, i'm one of them too =)

There was something inspirational that this guitarist(cant remember his name...) from Chris Bowater's worship team says, which one is more important? Being right or being reconciled?

Being right, thats what everyone is trying to prove, to be able to see things from their perspective, and claim that it only is the sole truth =) Unfortunately in the process, they purposely or unintentionally shot down their friends, putting the sake of knowledge over the price of friendship. And to the most unfortunate truth, sometimes, they ain't that right as what they claim they are. Upon realisation of their mistakes, they lost a good friend =)

And even after they realised their mistake, they refused to acknowledge that they are wrong, all just for the sake of saving face. They decide that their face is worth 10 times more than anything in their life, the rest dun matter. And I just guess thats why many good relationships turn sour too.

Well, I cant comment or criticise or judge, cause I'm one of those people, and even now, I'm struggling to hit perfection in Christ, not to judge my fellow brother or sister, but to acknowledge that he or she is indeed worth many times in the eyes of god as i'm worth. And that I know Christ starts the standard by being humble first, he washed the feet of his disciples, being the servant king. We who are of his discipleship, what are we supposed to do?

And maybe I can share with you some practical steps that I took to accomplish this

1. When someone accuses you, before you retaliate, check first, what is he/she trying to say, understand things from his/her viewpoints, and why he/she is saying this(current mental state), and of course to really take his/her words into your heart as an improvement to yourself, even if he or she is wrong, gently correct him/her.

2. Before we start to accuse others of their faults, lets look deep inside ourselves for once, before we want to say the words out, shall we look at ourselves first. Am I perfect in what I do? I make mistakes too, how should I speak it out to my brother or sister so that I will not hurt his or her feelings? How i would approach this would be to share with my fellow brother or sister my problem, and I will ask him or her for help, so even if I dun say it out, we can work together to solve the problem =)

3. Jesus gave the commandment, Love one another just as I have loved you, Love is explained in 1 corinthians 13. Are we gentle in our manner of speech(are we harsh in our intonation, do we care how our words affect them?), are our words kind when we correct our brother(do we encourage them with positive/constructive criticism rather than just pointing their faults)

4. Though sometimes, it is often meted out that "tough love" is needed at times, but I think as friends and brothers and sisters, we should only use this as a last resort, when all else really fails, and even before we should even use this tough love, have we asked god, is tough love really the best out in this situation?


Brothers and sisters, I hope you find this entry meaningful, god bless you all

In his love and mine =)

It is in giving that we recieve...

There's been so many things that happen during the week, I guess this week is kinda busy for me haha. I've a lot of calling up to do, people to talk to, people to entertain with, people to work with.

And many times I've asked myself, why am i doing all this? What are my motives behind this?

I've search and search, and the question was sort of answered in my heart.

It is in my giving that I recieve more.

Its in the satisfaction in knowing that another has benefitted from a sacrifice that I did that makes me move on in what I do.

I know that in the bigger picture, somehow, I did something small yet significant in someone's life, a smile to brighten his or her day. A hand to offer help to relieve him or her from that burden.

I know that somehow, i did something for my lord, i clothe him when he was naked, talk to him when he was lonely, entertain him when he was sad, offered a hand when he need help, i know that my lord and king was there, in that person whom i help. Even though sometimes my help went unappreciated, I know that right there, the lord's face is smiling at me.

I just guess that my time spent in helping others was more worthwhile rather than spending time with myself staring in front of the screen and playing games, I just sorta find it kinda meaningful now

I guess thats that for now, I will pray more for the people whom i've been placed over with, I need guidance and direction.

God bless you all who comes into this posting =)

Loving and Forgiving are you oh lord... Slow to anger, Rich in Kindness, Loving and forgiving are you...

One of the psalters that was sung on a sunday morning mass.

It just brought me back to what happen in the end of last year, and what began this year.
When a fellow brother of mine told me that I have lost my heart of worship, my first reaction was... And like what the hell, who gave you the right to judge me and to proclaim that i've lost the heart of worship. Then it lead down to the spiraling journey to hell. I felt i lost all, there is no more sanctuary left in this church which i know, people whom i knew betrayed me.

But now, when I look back, I realised what an ass I've been... Rather than ranting and bitching about how hypocritical my fellow brothers and sisters were, I left out god's message of love and forgiveness. I've been accusing others of being hypocrites, where I'm a hypocrite myself, accusing others of what I've been doing.

1 corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Jesus calls us to love and to forgive 70x7 times. I think in the context of what the lord was saying that we should forgive our fellow brothers and sisters unconditionally. And to love and to trust them back in return, even if it means getting ourselves hurt trusting them in the process once more.

And what is love? I guesse 1 corinthians 13:4-7 states it perfectly

Are we patient with one another, or we lose our cool and the next brother or sister who step on our toes we give him or her a bloody scolding just because he or she did the wrong thing again

Are we kind to one another, even if he or she made a mistake continuously are we kind in our actions in telling them that they are wrong? Or do we give them the harsh stare and harsh treatment?

Are we still easily angered when we say we love our brothers and sisters, do we speak ill of their mistakes and condemn them when we say we love them? Are our actions with love or are they of indifference and hatred?

Many of my friends also asked me this question, why should you forgive your brothers and sisters even if they keep making the same mistakes? And some of them even went to the extent of quoting scripture like this, did not Jesus say that when your brother still refuses to listen to you, you should treat him like a pagan or tax collector(a.k.a as an outcast of the community) But then again, how did Jesus treats the outcasts? He feasts and dine with them, for he says this. It is not to the perfectly healthy that i come, it is the sick who needs healing. He loves the outcasts even more, what more is there to be expected from those of us who are following his footsteps?

And one more thing, I think we ourselves make mistakes too. Why should we hold the faults of our brothers and sisters when our Lord holds non of them against us? And if we look into ourselves, we make the same mistakes too in the past, are we perfect in ourselves? Who gives us the right to judge them and condemn them just because of their faults? Aren't we ourselves imperfect too? Think of all the times that we did something dirty and that we think no one is looking? God already saw that and he forgives you for it. And I think the sins that we have committed against god is unsurmountable, but he stills forgives us and loves us,

So why cant we love as God has love us? Why cant we forgive as he forgive? Have we even start trying and asking him for the grace to do so?

God bless you all who come across this entry, may his peace and love befall upon you all

The I want, I want, I want...

I have been reading too much recently, but I just guess that most of us, in fact, I would say all of us have this little I want, I want heart in us.

I want the latest Ipod
I want the latest PDA
I want to have more moolah/Cash/dough/money
I want to have (_) out of (_) (Sounds familiar to ppl with relationships?)

The list of I wants in our hearts are never ending
It goes on and on and on and on...

It looks like most of the I wants is oriented around the individual

What happen to the other self-giving I wants?

I want the best for you
I want to sacrifice my life so that others might live

I just guess its getting rarer and rarer in our humanity, I would say most of us are filled with more of the selfish "I want" rather than the self-giving "I want". It could perhaps explain the world where we are living in now.

Well it might sound cranky, but I'm actually inspired by the seminarians in punggol major seminary. They are selfless people, and in their actions and in what they do, they radiate God's love from every pore of their body. And I have only one word to say, they are so in love with god. It can be seen as every action that the brothers take, they do so with love, dedicating themselves to serve the community.

And I'm actually suprised at their determination and self-sacrifice, they would actually give up everything that they hold on to dearly for the sake and kingdom of god, and to whom does the kingdom belong to? I would say everyone in this world.

The giving of themselves, "I want to give myself up so that others might prosper and gain from the love of god". And its not just an I want, they listen to god and asked" God do u want me to serve you in this manner?"

Can we be as truly selfless and self-giving like them, can we find joy in giving up ourselves so that others may live? Can the desire in our hearts turn into a "What would you want?" rather than the long list of "I want ..."

God bless you all who come upon this entry

Amen and may his name be praised forevermore